Who am I?

Well I’m definitely not Carmen Sandiego.

Well, let me tell you what I think is important or just what I can think of right now.

I’m 28 years old (I’ll be 29 in May). I’ve born and raised in Iowa, still living here now. I’ve considered moving because I love the ocean but I’m scared of moving somewhere unknown alone. I have mental illnesses but I try not to let them keep me down, though they did rule my life for some time. I have two cats, Arabella/Bella/Bells and Lucifer.

I grew up in a shitty small town and moved at 17 to Iowa’s lovely capital, Des Moines. Growing up I was the weird kid. I was insulted and teased my entire life. Jokes on them, of course, ran into a bunch of dudes in my grade at a bar and they were all blown away because “Damn, you got hot”. I was put in the hospital during school by another student and after that I switched to alternative school and finished high school there.

Prior to December, I had spent a year and a half in school to become a license massage therapist. I started having severe pain in my wrist, saw my doctor, had x-rays taken and was sent to an ortho surgeon. I was diagnosed with ulnar impaction syndrome, a degenerative wrist condition and had to drop out of school with only one class left. Which was a total bummer but I’ve decided to think about it as the universe telling me it wasn’t the right career choice.

I’ve modeled here and there. Haven’t done much work lately, Iowa’s photographers aren’t what I’m usually looking for. So I took up Iphoneography (photography with an iphone) and I take my own photos. When it’s warmer I enjoy hiking through nature to find things to photograph and edit. I’ve done a few photos of people at school but would love to do some more eventually. I think photography is rad, and doing it on an iphone is an excellent way to do it on a budget.

For the past year or maybe even more, I’ve really isolated myself. So I don’t have a lot of friends in real life. I’m working on getting out more, networking, making friends, finding hobbies. Last year I was a full time student so I didn’t have much money so I rarely went out and my anxiety makes it hard to go out alone. But I’ve got a job and luckily I have some awesome regulars who visit me on my overnight shifts and I’m starting to talk to more people and do more things.

I’m single, once engaged but it didn’t work out. I’ve been on dating websites with pretty awful luck. But I’m totally okay with it. If I meet someone, I meet them but I’m not actively searching. I’m pretty busy working on myself and making myself into a better person for my future somebody. Or myself but it’s worth it because I’m worth it.

I love body modification. I would love to be in the industry but I cannot draw to save my life and there’s no one around here offering to teach me. My hope was to combine a few massage techniques before tattooing in hopes it would promote better and faster healing with less ink coming out or touch ups needed in the future. But since that’s out too, I just get tattooed myself and have realized most places aren’t into piercings so I don’t have too many anymore.

I’m open minded, I talk a lot, I love to laugh and make jokes, if you want to know my drink at a bar it’s going to be tequila, I’m a huge cat lover, I believe in real love and modern love/romance/dating is a joke in my opinion, I have frequent amnesia so I write stuff in notebooks or planners, I’m incredibly open about things that make most people uncomfortable, I’ve been a victim but refuse to live with a victim mentality and I fully believe I can change my life for the better, make an impact on the world (even a tiny one) and I hope that I’ll leave a good impact.

 I have super high hopes for this blog, it took some planning. I love the idea I have, I’d even like to eventually have meet ups. I’m hoping to bring together people who feel the way I have and do sometimes. Most of my life has been incredibly rough and I’ve been through more things in my life than most people should but I don’t believe in letting that control me. If there is anything you want to know, please reach out!

Oh, and the reason I didn’t tell you my real name (Which is Stacey) is because I’m trying to decide what I want to legally change it to. I hate my entire name and I’ve been wanting to change it, I just keep waiting to find one that just fits, ya know? So, call me Stacey or Lobeless or any name you know me by. I’ll answer!

Vibe higher, my tribe,

Lobeless