Do you have self-worth?

If I were to ask you to write down important traits or even a description of yourself, what would you write? I know I’ve been asked to do that and spent a lot of time staring at a box thinking “how do I describe myself and do others see me the same way”

Now If I were to ask you to write down things you dislike about yourself or what you would change about yourself, I bet you’d be writing within seconds. And I feel like they probably wouldn’t be great things. More like overweight, too short, too tall, bad skin, loud, annoying, and similar things. Maybe you’d list a few things that were positive but most times, we are our harshest critics.

Finally, do you know your self-worth?

Let’s start with the definition of self-worth: “the sense of one's own value or worth as a person; self-esteem; self-respect. Respect for or a favorable opinion of oneself.”

Do you have self-worth? Do you see how valuable you are? Or have you let the opinions of others destroy yours? We live in a digital age now, meaning we post our lives and our selfies online and we get excited about the comments. But we also receive negative, mean, hateful comments. People spread rumors or lies about us and other people tend to believe the rumor mill.

I have had more cruel comments than I can count. I’ve had people tell me I was worthless or to kill myself. I’ve been on dating sites, met people in real life and been flat out told I look better online. It’s almost a habit now whenever I talk to someone I haven’t met in real life I mention “I look better in pictures” or “I’m just photogenic, you’ll be disappointed in real life”. Growing up I was never the attractive one, and it may have been partially because I was the odd one out at my school (I was into punk and metal while living in a hick town) and I did get more attractive as I got older. I faked confidence, I wasn’t sure I’d ever love how I looked. I remember spending years when I was younger trying to fit in, to get the clothes that everyone else had, to just blend in even. But I never did.

Eventually I got tired of not fitting in, I made friends outside my school and I changed. I started dressing differently, I listened to different music, I was dying my hair. But I was still a reflection of the people around me. I wasn’t completely myself. Luckily, it wasn’t too long after I started dressing how I wanted. When I was old enough, I was getting tattoos and piercings. I felt like I was discovering myself FINALLY.

But instead of discovering self-worth, I was getting caught up in vanity. As I was getting older, I was becoming more “attractive” to people, I lost weight, I started wearing make-up, I acted how other girls my age were acting so I just fit in. It wasn’t until recently when I started making big life changes that I realized what self-worth really was.

I realized that my self-worth was actually inside of me, it wasn’t my looks. It was my personality, what I had to offer other people, it was the ability I had to make others laugh, it was how I offered an ear to listen to problems, or a shoulder to cry on, it was my arms that could embrace you, it was the tears I shared when you told me your problems, it was me being a cheerleader when you felt like giving up, it was advice given, it was my heart, it was my brain, it was everything that made me the person I am, not the shell that contained the person inside.

You can find your self-worth too. It’s inside of you. Yes, it will take time, it will take effort. You may be uncomfortable confronting your demons, but your demons are there to hide your fears or protect you from getting hurt. If you want to change your life, you have to face the ugly parts and dig up the beautiful pieces. You had to get rid of the things that make you feel unworthy and you have to shine the pieces that gave you that heart of gold, though life may have tarnished it.

Each and every single person on the planet are worthy. I’m not saying in a religious sense but in a self-sense. If you don’t see your worth, others won’t either. If you don’t allow yourself to shine, then the world won’t be able to see your glow. You are priceless. There’s nothing wrong with taking care of your appearance or even taking pride in it, but what is inside of you is so much more beautiful. We each have our own story in this life, one that has shaped who we are, how we are around others, what we bring to the table, but our story isn’t finished. If you’re not happy with the person you are at this moment, you have the ability to start a transformation this moment. You won’t be brand new overnight but you can start to slowly change what you dislike into better qualities. You can change yourself, you can increase your self-worth, and you can remove yourself from the superficial existence you may feel trapped in.

And you can do this for others. You can help every other person see their worth. You can give compliments to a stranger, friends, family, and strangers online. You can help others to see how important the value of self-worth is and if we empower enough people, we can watch as change happens. I spent a lot of time discouraged by the world around me, seeing how people treated each other, how we value looks over personality, how the modern relationship has turned into a joke but if we each take the time to work on ourselves, raise our worth, and hold our boundaries if someone dare try to take that from us, we can spark a revolution. Tribe, we can create change and even if the change is only within us, a spark can ignite a fire and I’m ready to see the standards placed on women AND men disappear.

You are beautiful. You are smart. You are funny. You are amazing. YOU ARE WORTHY. You are creative. You are unique. You are YOU. You are one of a kind.

Never let anyone including yourself think any different because just remember, there will never be another person born on this earth who is exactly like you, Our DNA separates us and the strands created inside you will never be repeated again. You really are a unique, one of a kind treasure to this world. I hope you see that.

Vibe Higher,

Lobeless Lady