Women, Your Mission : Empower Each Other

You’re out with your friends, having some drinks or dinner and chatting. Suddenly you run into the person you’re interested in and you become deep in conversation. A little later another girl comes up, smiles, says hi, even introduces herself then begins talking to your love interest. Suddenly, you feel the need to compete for their attention and make them pay attention to you, not the other girl.

Or you’re working at a job you love. Your manager has told you how you’re her right hand, you do an awesome job, and you’re irreplaceable. You’re on top of the world. A week later a new girl transfers into your department from another state, and you get stuck showing her the ropes. You realize this girl has skills and talents you don’t. You manager checks in with you after the day ends and you only tell your manager about the mistakes she made, exaggerating the smallest things.

Why is when we face another women, everything is a competition? I know I’ve been in this mindset. Most of my friends are guys, when asked why I don’t have more girlfriends, I usually state things like too much drama, they told lies about me, they did this or that, Abraham hit me with a wiffle ball bat.

(Sorry, a snippet from Little Nicky that seemed to flow with it)

Now imagine if instead of competing, you befriended more women. You choose to band together, empower each other and be stronger as a team than as a single person. If we support each other, we become more confident, and if you have ever met a confident woman, you know she’s a force to be reckoned with.

Being a woman can be tough, even more now that we have social media to cyberbully each other. Even as young kids we are pressured with ads on television or in magazines of what a woman should be. How we should look, the way we should act, what to wear or buy. Growing older, men begin telling us what/how we should be. Don’t cut your eye short, you look better without glasses, you’re so much more attractive now that you’ve lost weight. We’re often seen as weak or dumb.

Along with that, add in women who are jealous of you, so they start rumors about you and tell their friends real or made up gossip in an attempt to make you look bad. When around you they act catty or perhaps treat you like you are less than them. They devalue you, the make you feel worthless. They share rumors with everyone and spread them like wildfire. Which can make them forget how easily a rumor can destroy friendships, relationships, business opportunities, and other things.

If you choose to bully or tear another woman down, what insecurity is driving this behavior? If you felt you were superior in every way, you wouldn’t have any need to talk down about another, it would be merely obvious, wouldn’t it?

Being a woman is a challenge all on its own.

It doesn’t help that (even from a young age) we idolize the wrong people. We love pop stars, we follow what they’re doing, we buy magazines to read a small interview with them that provides no value, we want to look like them and live like them. We create this idea in our minds that if we could look like them, dress like them, and act like them, we can land us the man of our dreams, the career that makes us rich so we can afford designer bags and a designer lifestyle. But let’s really break that down.

If we want their life, what does that mean for us? For example, I’m in Des Moines, Iowa. Even if I was insanely gorgeous or a doppelganger of Blake Lively. If I bought all the clothes and accessories she has, the cars she has, it doesn’t mean I can act. No one is going to find me on Instagram, fly me to California to be a movie star because it’s not a skill. Maybe a really attractive guy, similar to Ryan Reynolds finds me, but he won’t treat me the same because I’m not her, and he’s not him. I’m just living a fake life based on idolizing a popular celebrity.

(I picked her because I think she’s gorgeous and funny. I image she’s smart too, but I can’t say I’ve watched anything more than Gossip Girl, a movie with her in it, and snippets of interviews where her and Ryan Reynolds are cute as hell)

So let’s jump back to the topic at hand.

Think of every girl you may have acted poorly towards, and imagine putting them all in one room. Maybe the room is enormous or maybe the room is small. It doesn’t matter how many people you may have acted out towards. What matters is the desire to change.

(You could choose to make a list on paper, a mental list, or even just think about it.) Think if you were to make friends with each of those ladies. Everyone has a story, values, morals, and experiences. As friends, you would share back and forth allow you to learn new things or put certain thoughts into a different perspective for you. She’s going to have ideas and goals of her own that she’ll swap to hear yours. If someone disrespects her, stand up for her, I’m sure she’ll return the favor. The skills you each possess can be swapped and taught, meaning you could learn a lot from her.

When a women empowers another women, dynamics change. The friendship is beneficial for both. Perhaps you realize you have the same goal, for instance starting a blog, youtube channel, podcast, or even a business. You each bring some completely unique to the table and doubles your chances of success.

Of course, I’m sure we all realize it’s impossible to be friends with everyone. Sometimes two people just don’t vibe and won’t be friends. Even if we aren’t friends, we don’t need to tear them down, life is hard enough as it is, so why add to that? A negative mindset will never produce a positive life. When it comes to competition, leave that to either sports or competing with yourself to be better than you were the day before.

An important things to keep in mind is simple. We MUST remember to connect, reach out, lift other’s up and acknowledge that every person we meet has importance. Every human is important. During the worst circumstances, our survival instinct kicks in, that instinct is to help each other out. We don’t need a tornado to help someone clean up the wreckage. Sometimes that wreckage is inside, and by being kind, which we have access to at all times, can be enough. Even just being acknowledged and letting a person know they are worthy of whatever they really want is enough. You have no idea what battle they are fighting at the moment.

One last thing I can think of, we’ve all seen the “memes” or pictures or heard it said, real women have curves/muscles/are skinny/whatever. Why do we share these? Is it a way we use to empower ourselves? Most likely. But what we might not realize is we are shaming another person. If REAL women have curves, what does that make skinny or muscular women? They’re also real. Women come in all shapes and sizes and there is nothing wrong with that. We need to embrace everyone for exact who they are, not who fits into the same box as us. Real women empower other women, that’s the only one I accept.

So let’s start that revolution! The revolution of women having each other’s backs. Women standing up for other women. Women sharing ideas. Women picking up others off the ground and letting them know they matter and they are worth it. Women sharing love and kindness with other women. WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN.

Vibe Higher,

Lobeless

“There is a special place in Hell for women who don’t help other women.” –Madeleine K. Albright