The Power of Positivity (updated 05/18)

Change your self-talk, change your life. Here's how!

We also tend to be either an optimist or pessimist. We’re all guilty of this of course. These thoughts are automatic, self-talk being the inner dialogue constantly running through our heads, that one that runs through your head interrupting you at incredibly uncomfortable times.

Negativity can be harmful to us, both emotionally and physically. Negativity can also begins to rule your thoughts. Negativity is like poison, it eventually takes over everything. By possessing a negative mindset, you set roadblocks in your path for every choice and opportunity that comes your way. It hinders creative thinking and skills, basic problem solving, the will to attempt to reach higher goals, or become a better person. We can only focus on the bad things.

Negativity also influences important things in your life such as marriage, quality of life, job performance and personal or business relationships.

We all know that co-worker who has something to complain about, or when your partner constantly rants about how unhappy they are about the traffic or the wait at the grocery store, or imagine trying to train a new employee who keeps a negative mindset, so every time you try to teach or help, they moan and groan. We don't want to be around them.

Luckily, we can change our self-talk and thought process. It’s a conscious choice. It’s not easy, it won't happen overnight but if you want something bad enough, you'll put the work in. We need to listen to the thoughts that inspire us, not discourage us.

To make the change from negative to positive thinking, it usually begins with self-talk. Self-talk tends to come from logic and reasoning, other times, it comes from misconceptions that the mind creates due to lack of information. Positive thinking can be thought of as ignoring problems and pretending everything is great.

The reality is that positive thinking simply means approaching problems in a more positive and productive way.

Identify the forms of negative thinking, once you know them, you can begin to change them.

• Personalizing- When something bad happens, you automatically blame yourself.

• Catastrophic- You always assume the worst.

• Polarizing- Things are either good or bad, if it’s not perfect then you’re a failure.

• Filtering- When a situation arises, you magnify the negative aspects and ignore the positive ones.

Researchers are continuing to study the effect of positive thinking and positive self-talk. So far they have proven the following benefits:

• Increased life span

• Lower depression rate

• Lower stress levels

• Greater resistance to the common cold

• Better physical and mental well-being

• Improved cardiovascular health

• Reduced risk of cardio death

• Better coping skills

Self-talk also affects your confidence and self-esteem, positive talk boosts confidence. Negative talk can lead to stress and depression.

Psychologists believe confidence is required for personal and professional success. Successful people have shown that they truly believe in themselves and their abilities. Positive self-talk has been proven to help people perform better in many different ways, such as athletic events to work opportunities. Doesn't the positive cycle sound much better?

While positive talk and thoughts may not come naturally, you can form a habit of these. Some ways you can build this habit:

• Realize the areas of change – begin to identify what areas of your life produce negative thinking. It can help to keep a notebook around so you can write down when and why you had a negative thought. Such as when you’re driving, working or even your relationship.

• Check yourself – Periodically check and evaluate your thoughts. If you have negative thoughts about yourself, try to spin them in a more positive light. It may take time but going from hatred to love can be a rough transition.

• Be open to humor – Allow yourself to smile and laugh, even during hard times. Laughing reduces stress.

• Follow a healthy lifestyle – Aim to exercise or at least move around for 30 minutes daily. If working out, aim for 5 days allowing your body to rest for two. Drink more water which is good for the inside and outside of your body. Work on stress and coping mechanisms.

• Be mindful of who you surround yourself with – Look at the people you talk to or spend time with. Are they positive, supportive and dependable? Can they give you advice or feedback to help with the self-improvement?

• Practice positive self-talk – If you wouldn’t say it to someone else, don’t say it to yourself. If you have a friend, try it with them. Both of you write down negative self-talk you tell yourself. Then say what you say to yourself, to them. How does it feel? It hurts to hurt another, correct? Instead, no change happens overnight so work on the changes being made, be gentle to yourself and encourage yourself.

• Journal – Now this is one I did myself and created what I wanted to write daily. So I bought a cute notebook and every day, I’d write the day of the week and date. Then each day I did wrote down “Daily To Do” which would be things I had to get done, “Think Bigger” which was larger projects to work on, “Vibes” which was similar to prayers, I guess. It was positive thoughts and hopes regarding something happening in my life, “Gratitude” which I would write one thing I was grateful for everyday, “Affirmations” supportive or encouraging statements/compliments of myself (the first one written was always “I love myself” and finally “Real Talk” here is where I was brutally honest about things I needed to change or bad habits I needed to break. I wouldn’t allowed myself to write anything negative, but it was a good way to track my feelings, see patterns and look back when needed due to a very poor short term memory.

• Start a positivity jar - There’s actually two ways to do this. One is to get a bunch of small sheets on paper and write positive qualities about your looks, your attitude, your emotions, whatever is positive around you. Fill the jar and if you get stuck in a negative rut, pull out a slip and read it, remind yourself that it’s part of you. The other way is to write one positive thing down daily, put it into a jar and at the beginning of the New Year or whenever you want, take them all out and read them.

• You can also write positive quotes or reminders on sticky notes and stick them around your room or house.

• Create or find a positive mantra (slogan, catchphrase) that is positive and uplifting, repeat over and over or until you don’t need it anymore.

Visualization is another form of positive self-talk. If you can imagine a scenario playing out the way you would like it to, it’s possible that could affect the end result.

For visualization to work, you have to believe it and what you visualize has to be specific. You have to see every single aspect of what you want to achieve. For example, a certain pose in yoga. You have to be able to visualize every aspect of the movement from toes to tip of head. Visualize yourself doing the move perfectly, every movement made within the body and the fulfillment/excitement/happiness you’ll feel actually doing it.

It also helps to choose believable goals, instead of daunting unreachable ones.

Positive self-talk and thinking is crucial to living a happy and fulfilling life. Being positive allows you to see the good inside you creating positive self-image, which is what we all want. Having a positive mental outlook allows you to begin to see positive traits of others, not the negative traits that we tend to focus on. If you remain positive long enough, it will begin radiating outwards, thus bringing more people into your life. People love being around other happy, positive people. Your positivity may even rub off on others, putting them into a happy and positive mood.

Positivity is like a ray of sunshine after a very intense storm.

Take the time to know who you are, through positive thoughts and actions. Then take control of your thought process shifting towards the light side. You'll notice the world will begin to shower you in new opportunities, friendships, and you will be able to create larger goals or take bigger risks.

All in all, it allows you to create a life you want to live and enjoy. You’re in control of you.

Vibe Higher,

Lobeless