How we perceive beauty

Is your name google? Because you’re the answer to everything I’ve been searching for.

As humans we are constantly looking for the perfect mate, for multiple reasons. We all want to find a person who compliments the person we are, someone who shares our interests, has our back, our best friend, the best lover, someone to have children with, that one person we dream our sharing our life with for the rest of ours.

What we don’t realize is there’s psychology behind how we find and perceive our potential mate. Our brain is hardwired to look for certain traits, characteristics, and even smells. So let’s dive in and allow me to give you some insights into some facts and even some facts how to be more attractive to others.

• Attraction happens within the first 30 seconds. Our brains even make the decision if we would consider that person as a sexual partner.

• Actually, research from Tuft’s University proved we make an accurate assessment of people within 6 seconds.

• People responded better during an initial meeting when the other person was smiling and making eye contact.

• We’re drawn to people based on the skills and interpersonal behavior they possess, not just physical attraction.

• Studies show that babies stare longer at pictures of attractive people than unattractive people.

• “Opposites attract” isn’t actually true. We tend to be more attracted to people similar to ourselves.

• Fatal attraction is a real thing, it’s when the qualities that bring two people together end up breaking them apart.

• Research have shown that people tend to date another of the same level of attractiveness.

• When it comes to what we find attractive, it was thought genetics play a parts in our preferences. But further research proved genetics do play some part in what we perceive as attraction. For instance, our ability to recognize faces is inherited through genetics.

• This contrast shows environment helps to develop what we find attractive but genetics is what allows the ability to recall faces.

• It’s not your family, where you grew up, or how much money your parent’s made that develop our preferences. It’s the magazines we read, previous social interaction, or even your first partner that play a factor in our preferences.

• Our first impression is based on the face and looks. Traits such as personality, brains, and character come into account later.

• Data collected from multiple countries and cultures, beauty is proven to be connected to finical success. “Beautiful” people tend to make more money, get better jobs, and be hired by bigger companies. Though it does not prove that beautiful people are happier.

• When it comes to attraction, looks aren’t the only thing that matters. The brain has a short attention span so to keep someone’s attention you need to use your brain. People are attracted to intriguing, interesting, and engaging people.

• Research also shows we’re most attracted to availability. So when people say things like “I’m an ass man” or similar things, it’s not true, availability is more attractive, we just don’t process it as we would visual characteristics.

• While attracted to availability, it different types depending on different interactions. Dating means physical availability, Friends means emotional availability and Business means economic and intellectual availability.

• We find open body language more attractive and show availability. We close our body language when we feel mentally closed off.

• Studies have proven that we have more trouble trusting someone when we can’t see their hands.

• It’s harder to recognize people when their eyes are hidden.

• Subconsciously we find facial symmetry more attractive.

• The colors we wear can have an impact on how we are perceived. Red produces feelings of fear, anger, or passion. Blue produces feelings of calm and associated with loyalty and trustworthiness. Green is refreshing and relaxing. Yellow can bring joy, be inviting. Black is associated with authority or power or covey sophistication or villainy.

• The culture we’re raised/live in has an impact on our view of attraction.

• Past experiences play into our perception. For example, if your emotional needs were ignored while growing up, as an adult we may need extra care. Subconsciously we may seek out what they view as “kind” features in the face that they find attractive. But if that person possess any features of the parent are seen, they would not be attracted to them any longer.

• When we look at attractive people, our brain rewards us the same way as when we eat delicious food. It produces a feeling of pleasure.

• Eyes provide us with required information and can help us understand how a person feels.

• Symmetry in the face along with large breasts and hips are universally used as attractive as the mind perceives these things as healthy to reproduce.

• When we see someone for the first time, before we speak to the even, our mind makes note of certain things to form our opinion suck as: Are they smiling? Are they wearing nice, clean, well-fitting clothing or does it seem they’re wearing lose clothing to hide insecurities? How is there body posture? Are they making eye contact? Is their body language open or closed off?

• We’re attracted to people who portray confidence, someone happy and comfortable being who they are. Not people who come off insecure, hiding themselves, or clearly uncomfortable with themselves.

• Smell, pheromones partially, play a part in attraction. Sadly, people are covering themselves in perfume and cologne which can cover the pheromones which could drive away a potential mate.

• If men or women are hungry, it’s been shown to make them more open to diverse shapes and sizes.

• Studies have shown that women in developed countries are attracted to less “manly” men, while the opposite was proven in poorer countries.

• More than anything, healthiness, not certain looks or body types, attract mates.

So now that you have an idea of how our mind works when looking at potential partners, remember, all of this stuff happens within seconds and usually subconsciously. Most of us don’t think of these things when we go out. Though lots of people are looking for relationships or love, so here’s a few proven things to help you in attracting another person. Try them out, see how they prove different to your usual strategy. If you do, let me know how they work for you.

• For women, expose your neck. An open, exposed, or stroking of the neck is viewed as sensual and bonus, It helps to omit pheromones.

• Be aware of your attraction level, if your attraction level is low you need to raise the attraction level.

• Attractive level refers to energy, attitude, emotional intelligence, general vibe and character.

• Notice how both men and women react to you, not in a sexual way, but just in general.

• Practice self-control. Don’t be over reactive with people. To most people, over reactive people tend to come off to others as toxic. If you can learn to respond in a calm, collected way instead of explosive, you will attract more people. Make sure to take care of yourself and fulfill your seven basic needs

1. Emotional needs- You need to have an outlet to process your emotional issues. Don’t force your baggage on a potential partner. Save your venting for a therapist.

2. Spiritual needs- This doesn’t mean you have to be religious, it’s fine if you are or aren’t. Simply put, practice being a spiritual person seeking to better oneself, to love yourself and others.

3. Intellectual needs- Once you leave school it doesn’t mean you’re done learning. You need to continue growing as a person. Continue to strive to be the best you can be.

4. Physical needs- Become comfortable with your body. Exercise or at least make sure you’re moving your body around. Eat good food that nourishes your body.

5. Sexual needs- While this doesn’t exactly mean having sex, if that’s what meets your needs, then do you. But it also refers to two other traits. Do you feel confident and sexy in your body? If not, work on that, feeling good about yourself is important.

6. Financial needs- Do you have a job that’s fulfilling? Are you working towards your goals? How good are you at managing your money?

7. Passion needs- Passion is what fuels your life. What pushes you forward? A balanced life can mean a higher attraction level.

• Mahrebian and Blum began research in 1997 to learn if stable features (body type, height, ect) or changeable features (grooming, clothing, etc) were more important when finding someone attractive.

• Through this study they learned the high rated quality liked was “self-care” which included changeable aspects like good grooming, neat hair, fitted quality clothing, good posture, and healthy weight (which doesn’t mean super skinny. It refers to the body proportion as a whole)

• The next three qualities all rated nearly the same and very close to self-care. The runners up included masculinity, femininity, and pleasantness.

• Masculinity included thing such as shoulder width, wider chest, and bigger/more prominent jaw. (Stable features)

• Femininity included wearing make-up, longer hair, feminine posture and body language (changeable features)

• Pleasantness includes qualities such as happy, smiling, positive, and friendly attitude.

And there you have it! The psychology of why we’re attracted to the people we are and some “tips” to perhaps attract a partner. Human behavior is such a complex topic but you are able to learn some amazing things. I basically just handed you the cheat sheet of what is going on in your mind when you see a beautiful girl or handsome guy. I hope you guys really enjoyed this psych Sunday, I had a blast researching this and am so happy to share this with you.

Vibe Higher,

Lobeless