How do I find my life's meaning? Part Two.

Now that you know why it’s more important to chase meaning instead of happiness. What do you do? How do you find meaning? How do you know it’s meant for you?

Well, let’s look into some ways that may help you find your meaning!

Know your essentials- We all have things in our life that are important. Your passion may be completely different from your parents. Take time to make a list of your top 5 most important things that are completely essential to your happiness. And trust me, you can be happy without a cell phone, wireless, facebook, or other such things. Things that you put your heart and soul into, for me, writing this blog is my number one passion. Once you have your top 5, look and see which you could pursue and in what ways.

Why are you where your at?- Most of you have seen Fight Club, remember the scene where Tyler Durden goes into a run down convenience store, grabs the cashier and drags him outside, gun to head grabs his wallet. You figure robbery, nope. He finds an expired community college ID, he demands to know what he studied and why. He asks him what he wanted to be, the guy answers vet but he quit because it was too hard. Tyler keeps the license ad says he’ll be back to six weeks and if he’s not on his way to becoming a vet, he was dead.

Imagine you in that scene, in a dirty, dingy, dark, parking lot with a gun to your head and someone demanding to know why you gave up on your passion. What adds the fuel to your fire, what are you doing to change your situation and create the life you want.

Kindness and compassion- We’ve all been down and out before, and not just financially. Give without asking, or with asking. If you can help someone out, even a hug or a shoulder to cry on, and it doesn’t have a negative effect on you, GIVE YOURSELF OR RESOURCES TO THOSE IN NEED WITHOUT ANY EXPECTATION OF RETURN. Acts of complete selflessness increases your life satisfaction and you have no idea how much it could mean to another person. Something simple could create a huge ripple effect.

Maybe you have a depressed friend who has pulled away from everyone and you sense something is wrong. You go see them and you can tell something is wrong. So you offer your time, a hug, you listen, perhaps give advice, whatever they need. While they may never tell you, what if before you came over and gave them what you could offer, they were writing a suicide note and getting ready to end their life.

Be aware of time killers- Pay attention to your actions and how you spend your time. Perhaps you work a job you hate, then come home, switch clothes, and play video games the rest of the night. Pick a certain time, such as every week, every day, whatever works and write down how you spend your time. Review it and really look to see if there is anything you could change or improve to help you achieve your goals. By cutting out or cutting back on time killers, you could add in something constructive. Learn a new skill, take a class, anything to help you improve and move ahead.

Can you hack it?- Living an average life can be tough at times, and at times requires courage. But living a meaningful life that takes a whole lot more courage than the other. Finding meaning requires a change of course and that could mean completely new things, which are scary. Be courageous, don’t be afraid to be different or stand out, and don’t let fear stop you from trying something new.

Prepare to suck- Learning a new thing basically means, to be blunt, you’re going to suck at it. New skills that you haven’t done before are trial and error. Very few people can pick up an entirely new thing and be good at it. But if you’re passionate about it, who cares if you screw up, the point is you’re doing it, you’re trying, and you’re being courageous. (props to #5!)

Simplify- Life is more meaningful when you do things that are fulfilling emotionally or spiritually. But to add in things, you need to subtract others or you’re going to end up with a very busy and unmanageable life. If something causes you stress and frustration that you don’t want in your life get rid of it. Say goodbye, thank yourself later.

Know how to set goals- If I asked you write out a list of goals, it could potentially end up being a mile long. As humans we have a lot of stuff we want to accomplish or dream of doing. So take a look at your list, no matter how long, sometimes goals can be combined or even some can be taken away realizing it’s not something you really want to achieve, just something that’s interesting. Take whatever is left on your list, and number them by importance and your ability to complete them. Then tackle them one at a time, such as weekly goals or monthly goals. You can also create a step by step plan to help you along the way.

Be the real you- You are unique, one of a kind, no one can compare to you. Some may try or you may try to be someone else, but then you’d be the dollar store mock Barbie or Ken. Why would you want to be anyone but yourself? As people we do have a fear of rejection and criticism, we want to be liked, valued, and important. You have to step out of your comfort zone, be you, loud and proud, and be who you really are. If you’re pretending to be someone else, you can never find your purpose because you’re not being who you are. Embrace and show the world who you are, the right people will find you.

Focus on giving, not receiving- Your purpose isn’t what you want, purpose is what you can give. It’s using your strengths to serve others, gives you something to live for, and a reason to continue moving forward. Sharing your strengths with others can prove to be incredibly gratifying for yourself.

You're your own author- Every time you talk to someone, tell a story, write about an event in your life, anything having to do with your life story, you’re creating a narrative that allows you to better understand how you become who you are today. We don’t always realize that we’re the authors of these stories and have the ability to change the way you’re telling them. Taking time to reflect on past events that shaped you can help create clarity in understanding how you want to live your life in a more meaningful way. Your life isn’t just a list or series of events, every single thing since you were born has had a part in molding you into who you are today. Sometimes we feel stuck because of our life story, but you can change it. Say something traumatic happened and you’ve been ashamed and numerous other painful emotions about it. Take time to reflect on the situation again but from a different perspective. If you blame yourself for something that happened, instead, imagine your best friend or someone you love had that happen to them, would you blame them? How would you feel about their story? Forget what people think- Are you living the life you want to live? Or are you following what your parents want you do? What society thinks you should do? Growing up (the girl perspective) I was taught, get good grades, don’t sleep around, go to college, become something important and high paying, find a man who loves me, get married, have kids, buy a house, be a good wife, etc. My mom didn’t teach me this, it was instilled through books, school and daycare, everything around me. But I look at my life, I’m 29, I’ve dropped out of two colleges, no degree, I run a blog, I’m searching for a job, I rent a tiny studio apartment, not married, no kids, basically….I broke all the rules and then some. And I couldn’t be happier about it.

Are you willing to sacrifice?- If you read part one, I told you that living a meaningful life can prove to be stressful, exhausting, difficult, or plenty of other emotions. If you find your purpose you may have to sacrifice or struggle until you get where you want. What are you willing to tolerate to achieve that purpose? Maybe less time with friends, less sleep, less money, or plenty of other things. If you aren’t willing to make sacrifices, then it’s most likely not your purpose.

When did you let your inner child die?- As a kid, you did things you loved out of sheer enjoyment. Even if you weren’t great at it, it didn’t matter. Nothing stopped you from writing silly stories, taking photos, drawing things you love or other things. Why did you stop doing what you love? Perhaps your parents or teachers told you there was no future or money to be made as a writer. So you quit and started studying something you didn’t love. Perhaps it’s time to visit that inner child again and perhaps the answer to what is most meaningful to you lies there. What’s your escape?- What is something you enjoy doing that makes you forget about everything. You may forget to eat, forget bed times, and forget about your phone, anything that causes you to lose time. For some its video games, reading, drawing, or plenty of other things. Could that be your meaning? If not, look at the cognitive principles behind the activity and figure out where you could apply them elsewhere in your life. When you die what do you want to be remembered for? What stories will people tell about you? What legacy will you leave behind? Or better yet, ask yourself, what do you want the answer to those questions to be? I feel like it’s best to be honest at all times. I’m not spiritual, religious, whatever. So for me, I break it down to a simple idea. We’re born, obviously we have no choice in that. We’ve usually got eighteen years where we follow our parent’s rules then we’re kinda kicked out into the real world and called adults. While we’re alive, we will do various things, some of those will be important and some won’t. It’s easy to fall into the adulthood trap. You get a job and a place to live or go to college and stay in the dorms. Work or study, maybe you get promoted at your job so you stay. Or you graduate and find a job within your field. Now both scenarios are at the same place. Jobs. So many of us are taught if the job isn’t horrible and it pays the bills, stay at the job, be comfortable, and live meaningless life. Wake up, go to work, come home and waste time or run some errands, make dinner, go to bed, and repeat. Day after day. Is this the life you want? Are you satisfied? Or are you ready to make a change, to challenge yourself, to find something that makes you feel alive and gives you not only a reason but the WANT to get out of bed. You can ask everyone in the world “What is my purpose in life?” When they should be asking “What can I do with my time that’s important and is fulfilling?” No one can tell you your purpose, only you can find what sets your soul on fire. If you want to start on a smaller scale, consider what acts of kindness and compassion could you show to those that need it? To give of yourself simply because you can. If you really pay attention to the world around you, you can find plenty of opportunities to do this, which adds meaning and significance into our daily lives.

Passion is the result of action, not the cause of it. Vibe Higher, Lobeless