Deadly Relationships: Traits

Welcome back to part two!

Now let’s talk about the traits more in depth so you can begin to recognize them when they happen. Armed with these tools, you can protect yourself from falling into the trap of psychopaths and sociopaths.

They’re a true lady killer-

By using this tool, which they have perfected, it draws you in. The image they present to the outside world is their mask of appearing normal, fun, exciting, and attractive. Keeping up this image to the outside world is incredibly important, they can’t pick a target or trap anyone if they’re wearing a raincoat covered in blood, blaring some Huey Lewis and the News, wielding an ax. (Sorry, I was thinking of Patrick Bates in American Psycho)

Once a target has been chosen, they will charm your pants off, literally and figuratively. They will shower you in flattery, compliments, they are great company and provide stimulating conversations, you may find it so compelling you lose track of time. They’re a smooth talker, never at a loss of words and all their attention is focused on you.

He’ll make you feel like the center of the world, the world only spins because you are on it. You may doubt what he’s saying, but you often push it aside because their actions match their words. As humans, we want to be liked and loved, and they sure know how to make us feel like that.

They’re incredibly superficial, fake and insincere-

They may tell you outlandish stories, the stories you can’t believe are true. They’ll be able to keep up details that make it seem like perhaps it really is true. Crazy things do happen, though meeting someone who has been through those untainted (as they appear normal) is pretty rare.

Everything they say has been crafted and designed to fit in with the group or person they’re with. Perhaps you’re having a conversation and he’ll tell you his opinion, you disagree and explain your view, and suddenly, he clarifies what he actually meant, which will align with your opinion. They say things that are designed to build trust making you think that they understand and know you well.

They’ll make fake promises of things that are important to you. The things they say to you is not only wastes of your time and they have no intention of following through.

They seem to have no real past-

As relationships progress, partners begin to introduce family and friends to the other. While you may have them meet your family and friends, you will most likely never meet theirs. They may have stories, but they tend to exclude things like names, how they’re related, or any actual facts.

Most times, they’ve moved around and are not from your area. If you ask why, it will usually result to work or other reasons. When it could be that they were found out to be unstable. They may have legal or criminal issues. Though they may never tell you why they actually left.

They’re an egomaniac-

They’ll make sure they tell you about huge accomplishments, talk about big business plans, they’re prior success and how to they plan to repeat that here in your area, how many women want them and even brag about skills in the bedroom.

By telling you these things, they’re basically selling themselves like the brand new must have item. Everyone’s lining up but they only want one person and they chose you. They’ll make sure to know that they had other opportunities, even showing you pictures (these pictures could be people they know or not), may have fake text message screen shots. Basically, the make you feel special because they had other options but you were special, amazing, you’re the one they want.

While all sociopaths/psychopaths are narcissists, not all narcissists are sociopaths/psychopaths.

They play the victim card-

If all they showed were their ego, high self-esteem and self-assurance, we’d be turned off. No one wants to be with a person who only see and talks about the value of themselves constantly. They know how to balance the scales.

They will share with you stories of troubled childhood, abuse, horrible treatment from ex-partners anything that will evoke pity and/or sympathy from you. He’ll make sure to tell and show you how caring, loving, thoughtful, and wonderful he is and how badly he was hurt. He’ll go into how he feels he didn’t deserve what happened and how things have been so horrible for so long, but he met you and he honestly thinks you’d never do that to him.

They purposely make themselves seem weak and vulnerable, which as humans, most times we can to help or comfort them. If caught in their trap, you’ll have already at this point built some trust and believe them. You’ll want to help them however possible.

Their world revolves around you-

They will “love bomb” you. This is when they’re blowing up with your phone with texts, phone calls, social media sites, and want to spend every minute with you. If you take too long to respond they’ll ask if they did something wrong or are you okay. They’ll make sure to have contact with you in some form the entire day if possible. They may even become upset if you don’t respond while working, then coming up with stories or other things that may have happened while you weren’t responding to make you feel guilty.

They are constantly complimenting you, they tell you how amazing you are and how much you’ve changed their life (even just a few days in). They’ll guilt trip you into including them with your time spent with friends and family because they don’t have any here. Soon, you’re basically attached at the hip, your friends become his, and he may even bond with your family.

This propels your relationship forward at a much faster rate, creating a false sense of intimacy. If your friends and family love him and they only see the mask, they may praise him to you, talk about how lucky you are, how great he is, basically he ropes them into helping him.

They’re a sexual magnet-

Male socio/psychopaths have a large amount of testosterone in them. They are able to last a long time in bed, especially because this allows them to show off how impressive their sexual performance. Any opportunity to show off, they’ll take it.

Sexually, they’ll make sure that you feel as though you’re connected and compatible you are as a pair. They’ll figure out what you want sexually and they’ll go above and beyond to satisfy you. When you connect sexually, it creates an even more intense bond which misleads you into thinking you found the perfect match.

They use negative traits as a manipulation tactics-

Socio/psychopaths are compulsive and pathological liars, they manipulate every situation to their benefit and are incredibly deceptive. They actually feel more comfortable when lying about anything and everything than telling the truth. They will go to great lengths to protect their lies, even if it means hurting your feelings. Your feelings mean less to them than they’re image.

If you come close to the trust, they may lash out and place blame on you to make you feel badly about even suspecting they would lie to you. They may continue the lie, adding more details until you feel satisfied. Or perhaps even begin to cry and confess they lied about whatever part you found out to be a lie. They’ll apologize over and over and explain how they were afraid to tell you or anything to get you to forgive them and continue onward with you.

They become a parasite-

Most socio/psychopaths don’t see the value or point in working long hours for little pay. They may job hop, work long enough to get unemployment and do whatever it takes to get fired.

Or worse, they attach to you and view you as a source of income. They may tell you or friends they’ve fallen on rough times, tell you a sad sappy story in which you or another may fall pity to. Perhaps you allow them to live with you, rent free, until they’re on their feet again. They may ask you to drive them places as they may not have their own car, or simply to use your resources. They may ask to borrow money, small amounts in a more frequent time frame, or larger amounts space apart. They’ll provide empty promises to pay you back.

Just know now, you won’t get that money back. If you choose to help them, it will have to be out of the goodness of your heart because that money or helpful acts will never be repaid. They may repay you if they feel they’re losing their hold on you, not the full amount but as a show of “good faith”.

They mimic you-

With lack of emotions, it’s hard to form interests and hobbies. Since socio/psychopaths spend their life manipulating others, that can be very time consuming.

So once they’re with someone, they will play off having the same interests at the partner. This is the same with emotions. They know what’s supposed to be a response to things, though they don’t feel it, they’re excellent at faking it.

They will watch and listen to what you need emotional and physically. They’ll do whatever you need to keep you around. You may notice it feels fake or empty, if confronted, they’ll deny it and give you reasons why it’s not true.

They’re immature-

Most all socio/psychopaths are immature, wither 20 or 60 years old, they still act like a middle schooler. They can be demanding, selfish, and only care about their wants and needs. You may notice this in person, online through social media, or through text messages.

Socio/psychopaths are unable to learn from past experiences making them unable to grow up, act as a mature adult, or show respect to others.

They displace emotions-

When you think of a socio/psychopath, think of a person wearing a mask. The mask is what makes them appear normal and healthy. But keeping that mask on for extended periods of time is impossible. The mask will slip and the illusion shatters.

As soon as that mask drops, they begin to exhibit signs of insanity. While normally they manipulate, lie, cheat or con things change once they’re exposed. They will become cold, showing a complete and total lack of remorse, guilt or shame. As this is clearly upsetting to the partner, they show you no empathy towards you, making them incredibly cruel. They won’t admit they did anything they did was wrong but instead they’ll place the blame on you or others.

Once exposed, they will ignore you, the pain the caused you, and move on completely to a new victim. They will literally disappear. They don’t say goodbye, you won’t see it coming, and they won’t show you any signs of that. Phone calls, texts, social media, any means of contact will be severed leaving you confused and hurt.

I realize I just provided you with a lot of information and I honestly hope you share this with someone you care about. Socio/psychopaths can be incredibly violent and even if the treat of physical violence isn’t present, the emotion toll it can take on you isn’t worth it. No point in healing from a problem when it can be avoided in the first place.

Look forward to part 2 tomorow, tribe.

Vibe Higher,

Lobeless