Social Media. Your worst enemy.
Welcome to social media and the highlight reel, one of your worst enemies.
You meet someone you really like, what do you do? You creep their social media, of course, but is that helping or hurting?
Most all of us are on social media and most likely more than one website. These days we have facebook, Instagram, twitter, tumblr, snapchat, and plenty of other things. We’re all taking selfies and posting them. We take multiple photos, we edit them, we add filters, one even makes it look like you have make-up on when you don’t and we pick the best one to post. We obviously want to show the world the best side of us.
But what happens when you meet a new person and swap friend requests or even meet them online. We make judgements based on the information presented to us. Someone could be a serial killer, they’re not going to put up videos or photos of their victims, well hopefully not. Instead, we’re stuck looking at all these photos carefully chosen to show their best side, at the exact right angle, with the best lighting, and a pleasing filter. So what happens when you meet in real life?
YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THEY DON’T HAVE PERFECT ANGLES WITH EXCELLENT LIGHT THAT MAKES THEM APPEAR SLIMMER, HAVE BETTER SKIN, AND TO TOP IT OFF, A PERSONALITY AND FLAWS?!?
To make matters worse, we’re a generation of texters. All of those important moments are now showing up on a screen with a little emoji next to it. The first I love you, the fights, breaking up, telling someone you’re pregnant, or anything. People purposely ignore a phone call because they don’t want to talk on the phone anymore. When someone says something upsetting I call them, I don’t sit there and write out a five page text. Texting lacks emotion and inflection. So what could be read as angry or pissed off could really be fine. It causes more problems than it solves.
It’s no wonder why we just EXPECT things to come to us. Browse Instagram and you’ll find girls with excellent photos, a handful of cash, or expensive designer outfits. What we don’t see is the work these girls did to get those things or if they even own them! Maybe they shot a few selfies at a shoot, at a store, or a friend’s house? I once bought myself an authentic Chanel purse and I love it. But I never took a thousand photos of it to show it off.
If you see bar photos with the person surrounded by people, do you actually know the real story? Sure, they could be out partying with friends all the time or they could be an alcoholic who goes to the bar alone, gets wasted and makes drunk friends. If you’ve been to a bar, you know how that goes, at least I do. I have the pictures to prove it.
We share the good things, we don’t share the bad (well, most people don’t, I’m weird open and honest about everything) because most times, you’re ashamed of the bad parts. I know if I’m writing a little paragraph about myself I don’t want to tell people I suffer from mental illness, that I don’t have any friends I hang out with regularly, that I was raped and it scares me to meet new people from the internet unless we have common friends, that I take a handful of pills every day to be the person I am now.
Being upfront and honest sounds like the best policy and in person it’s easier because you can tell people how you want and explain it. They see you and get to know you knowing that you are going to have a giant freak out or you’re secretly a murder or stalker. They get to see you without a filter. They get to hear your voice, even better you both can physically touch.
I know so many people compare their life against others on social media. Like I’ve said before, don’t compare your life to others. Live your life to your standards and how you want because in the end even if you end up with all the money, cars, clothes, men/women…when you’re old or dead those things won’t matter.
I try to show my real life, most all of my pictures are alone because I spend most of my time alone. I post photos without make-up, I purposely take bad photos to post because I’m not ashamed of who I am or how I look. I enjoy having fun and laughing which is partly by taking stupid photos. I don’t party, I don’t go out much, I enjoy reading, working, cleaning my house or doing repairs, spending time with my cats, and my alone time. I haven’t found anyone as an adult that has the same interests as myself so I just wait, the right people come along when they’re needed.
So I guess I’m going to go ahead and say it. Stop with the highlight reel, people. Show who you really are. Be honest and upfront. Stop using filters that change how you look completely. Open your mind and heart and get to know people better. Stop spending all that time judging from a social media, get to know the real person and let them get to know you. Stay true to yourself and you’ll have a much better group of friends and better luck at finding a relationship.
Be you and love who you are.
Vibe Higher,
Lobeless