Stop the Drama, Handle Your Shit
“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it's not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.” –Dalai Lama XIV
We all have problems or issues that arise. You got a flat tire and was late for work because you had to change it, your boss yelled at you, your friend is mad at you, you spilled wine on the carpet or any other kind of issue. Perhaps this puts you in a panic or makes you unhappy, then you call/meet/text someone ranting about what happened. Now your mind is in overdrive thinking of a million ways you could have played out the situation or handled it differently.
But let’s break this down for a second here. A simple issue arose in your life and instead of just handling it and moving on, like a balloon you blew it up. You make it a hundred times bigger than it was when it started. Instead of putting the spare tire on, you threw a tantrum. Was it because of the work you’d have to do to fix the problem or the inconvenience it caused you? You wasted all this time, energy, and emotional health on something that is so small.
Some people tend to constantly produce the balloon effect, about everything. They thrive from the drama. It’s so hard to understand how people can even be happy with the drama they create for themselves. They are purposely making life more difficult for themselves but I’m guessing it also gives them something to talk about or to receive pity for. We all try to soothe our friend after a break-up, giving them compliments and boosting their confidence, while talking down another person (and let’s be real, we weren’t in the relationship, we have no idea who’s at fault) to make our friend feel better.
Are we helping or hurting? I try to stay impartial as much as possible. For instance, a family member of mine, her husband cheated on her. My father texted me and told me what happened. I replied to him that I felt sorry for her and I hope she was okay. I was sorry that he cheated but I didn’t wish anything bad for him. His response was he hoped bad thing came his way.
I realize that when someone hurts someone you care about, most everyone wishes badly on the person who did the hurting. But I’ve had so much bad in my life, you’d have to really affect me for me to wish bad things on you. I’m a firm believer that love and kindness will get you a lot further ahead than the opposite. I also believe in karma. You attract what you think, and all that stuff, and I want to attract love, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, and happiness.
Plus, think about how much energy you’ve wasted. What could you of done with that energy? If we stick to the flat tire example, you could have been excited to change your own tire or were able to get help. You have a car that drives and you made it to work, even if you were late. Life happens. Somethings you just have to suck up the negative head space and think about the positive things.
For me, I’m a firm believer that everything works out the way it is supposed to. The other day I was worried about bills coming up, the fact I was fired after handing in my medical accommodation form and had one paycheck coming that would be very much, and to top it off, I was still job hunting. I panicked for a moment, canceled all none essentials and looked for anything I could sell. I updated my resume and started applying and stopped thinking about the what if’s or what could go wrong. I stopped living in the future where I would be losing everything and put my energy towards finding a job and making a living.
The next morning I woke up and checked my bank account to make sure nothing had changed and found more than a thousand dollars. My tax return came in, my paycheck came in, and in the mail I had a check for three hours at Walgreens. I paid all my upcoming bills, put $1,183 in savings (I owe state $638 and rent is $545) and I still had enough to get quarters for laundry, get my oil changed and still left with money in my account. And to top it off, I had a job interview, I was hired at my interview and start on Monday.
So to me, that tells me that whatever I put my energy into, is what will happen. Maybe not in the way I expected, or when I expected it but just the simple fact that the world works itself out the way it’s supposed. In every aspect. I can plan, work towards something but it doesn’t mean that I’ll get what I want or how I want. I’m just open to what comes my way.
So next time you encounter an issue or problem in your life, don’t waste the mental energy. Don’t balloon your problems, just handle them. Do what needs to be done. The need to vent is normal but don’t let it overshadow any good that may of arisen from the problem. Problems are teachers. Embrace the challenge and handle your shit. Don’t let these things rule you or ruin your day. Control your thoughts, keep them positive, handle your shit, move on with your day, and let the good happen, because it will if you allow it.
Vibe Higher,
Lobeless